What I’ve learned to be true is that with every breakthrough of growth, you simultaneously experience a season of grief, which is a continuous process of death to self.
As you break through upper limit after upper limit of what you thought was possible, reaching new heights that you never thought could be a reality, what happens is a continual shedding and evolution of your identity. In this episode, I talk about what happens after you pray for and achieve the growth you wanted and the emotional, spiritual, and mental wherewithal required to get to the next level.
What you may have never realized before is that growth simultaneously brings grief and requires a high level of vulnerability from you, if you want to continue breaking through to new levels.
You might be thinking, “J, nobody died. What do you mean when you talk about grief?”
Well, a part of you is actually dying. Grief in business shows up in a few different ways:
- Your business model has to change, where you’re no longer customizing your services from client to client
- You may have to cut one of your offers, no longers selling $297 DIY courses
- The depth of touchpoints and access you give your clients is evolving, no more private 1:1’s
Your identity as the leader and CEO of your company must evolve. No longer can you view yourself as just someone who makes content; but you’ll begin to see yourself as a true CEO, who is responsible for decision making and who is capable of the new challenges that success has introduced.
The internal dialogue needs to shift from:
- “What do I want?” to “Who do I need to become?”
- “How do I avoid the discomfort of my past?” to “What tools do I need to heal my childhood traumas?”
- “That’s not possible” to “How do I rewrite old truths and evolve my belief system?”
When people say you have to work hard to make it, this is the REAL work that’s required. You must choose to relearn, rewrite and recondition the thoughts that used to protect you but no longer serve who you are becoming.
So how do you confront the identity evolutions happening inside you?
Straight on, with vulnerability and courage. You may not want to hear this, but vulnerability is the only way to the other side.
I know, being vulnerable and putting on your Brene Brown britches is not easy. But welcome to being human. We all struggle with it, but at this stage, it’s what’s required to get to the next level.
And yes, you absolutely can choose to avoid being vulnerable. You can say: I don’t want to ask for help. I don’t want to do the work that I’m really avoiding, which is this internal junk stuff that I need to work through.
You CAN choose NOT to do that, but understand that decision comes at a cost.
Choosing to NOT be vulnerable will absolutely impact your ability to continue to deliver at these new levels. It will absolutely impact your ability to continue growing internally and how you grow externally within your business.
I’ll leave you with this nugget: what is required either anytime you experience growth is to recognize there’s also a part of you that’s experiencing grief.
Key Highlights of the Episode
This episode was extremely actionable and insightful. Here are a few key highlights:
- The continual evolution of your identity must happen if you want to keep growing. Here are some key questions you must ask if you want to go to the next level:
- Are you open, willing, and committed to dying to the current version of yourself, in order to evolve into the person you are meant to become?
- Are you truly prepared to handle the whiplash that happens when you experience fast growth? Meaning are you emotionally solid enough, to maintain stability while experiencing the mood swings of your ego?
- Are you mentally equipped to withstand the identity disassociation that occurs every time you break upper limit, after upper limit?
- Are you spiritually in tune to remain aligned, present, and obedient to your calling and not cave to your comfort zone?
- And lots more! Tune in now.
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